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May 14

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(Source: thegirlwiththebluemarker, via soul-lights)

pittsburgh.

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Apr 17

[video]

(Source: , via wowfunniestposts)

side thought

individuals that commit suicicde might think they will help not only themselves and free themselves from their sorrows and such but they forget that they are loved and by killing themselves they also comitt manslaughter of their loved ones.. i’ve withnessed a suicide in my family before, a very close relative, the closest to me and i par example struggle day by day with that choice of ending that life. it destroyed mine in a way and made me numd to live. i struggle day by day to unnumb myself and actually live and enjoy life instead of letting the days simlply go by until the end has come.

apart from me the entire family fights a battle with that suicide, mother, father, siblings, all of us, even though it has been almost 19 years now. It’s a life long struggle of acceptance and overcoming oneself, the fears and barriers, the shock and numbness.

Life can take serious turns when you least expect them, still today i have not fully realized that or simply try hard and do very well in ignoring that fact and underestimate not life. It is hard to see beauty in life for me, as i seek for security and shelter that was torn away from me so early in my life. She was my mother, sister and father, brother , all at once. my best friend and my soul-mate. She was all i had at such a young age and i was hers, her daughter, her child, her sister,…I felt most secure with her when father decided to harm my mother as much as he could. She was there to protect me. And when she left to took my shelther with her, my only place of peace, happiness and security and love (all that a child needs).

I am not saying i never retrieved that kind of parental love, the LORD knows I have been loved throught my young life by so many people around me and in my life, genuinly and passionately. My mother, my sisters, my brothers have all joined forces for me to become the best me that i could possibly ever be. If there is something i am very capable of giving is love and shelther, irionically this is exactly what i am longing and looking for in my own life. Doing some psycho-analysis on myself I would say that this mostly shows in my relationships of how i not hold on to a man but try hard to get security from him.

I have no idea YET of how to change that and how to do therapy to myself but i know the LORD will help me do it.

My message: many people have considered at least once to comitt suicide but have they really gone through with that thought? All though current media try propergate the image and have one believe that it’s all about “YOU” and YOUR happiness in life and if u are not then you are a complete failure but WAIT hold on……you might feel like a failure now but no condition is permanent, change will come and so shall yours the LORD has a plan for all of us. at times we just need to be patient and help ourselves by trying the most we can do to improve our situtations. Taking one’s life does not solve anything except for eliminating a beautiful precious life that the LORD himself has created and given a soul to. There is life after death but there is no need to rush…comitting suicide is liek cutting the line at the supermarket. we will all get to pay, we all want to go but in the meantime let’s make the best in waiting it out. Imaging how you feel when you see someone skipping the line, you feel sad and or even angry and start fussing and maybe also want to do it but then your mind klicks in and you decide either to d oit and cause more talk or not to as you know you’ll be able to pay asap anyways.

i think this is how left-behinds of suiciders. Please dont do it! Time will heal the pain and the LORD is right there.

AMEN!